Carol Biography

Carol retired from her nine to five job in 2019. She was best known at work for chatting while on mute during conference calls, and doing the pee pee dance while being counseled by upper management. She could often be seen having idle conversation in the hallway, working out in the gym (during lunch of course) and trying to look like a nerd in face to face meetings. Carol holds a degree in business from Pace University in New York.


Carol and her husband Butch have a son Timmy and a daughter Mary. They spend most of their time strategizing how to use Timmy’s 529 college savings plan to cover his bail and legal fees, and recovering from PTSD when Mary returns to college. In between arguments they enjoy bike riding and hanging out with Chief, their perfect German Shepherd.


Carol has expert knowledge on how to put money on your kid’s phone card while he is in jail, what to wear when visiting him in the detention center, and what not to say during the other teenager’s third appearance in court for reckless driving. 


Carol is also known around the community as a psycho swim mom. She has spent thousands of dollars and attended countless swim meets over thirteen years and neither of her kids swim competitively anymore. Through this experience she has learned how to take credit for all the successes and how to avoid blame for all the failures. In her spare time she enjoys playing volleyball, pickleball, and listening to live music.

image56